I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
