Fuck appropriateness.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
