and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
