So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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