so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
