Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
