We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
