Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
