he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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