We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
