I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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