I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
