Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just had sex on a roof
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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