Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
