if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
