She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
