watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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