I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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