That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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