Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize