Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
