she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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