Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
