I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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