I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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