ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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