its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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