How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
