Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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