I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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