I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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