I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
