Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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