Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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