I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
