we have officially lost it.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
