ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
