Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize