Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
