She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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