so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
