So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
