Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
