I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
