i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
