i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
