Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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