I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
