didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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