Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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