My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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