it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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