that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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