This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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