I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
