i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
