He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
