Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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