yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
