you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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