Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
