that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
