i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
