The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
