We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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