Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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