Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
