my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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